This one’s for you

For everyone that’s either given up or on the verge of doing so, this one’s for you.

For everyone trying hopelessly to escape that abyss, this one’s for you.

Disclaimer: I do not know things. I know what I’ve experienced and I know what I’m experiencing. I’m trying here, just like you.

I want this post to be the least patronizing it could be (see disclaimer), so to do that I want to say, I’ve been in your shoes, October of last year. Yes, I know. You go outside and there’s immediate intimidation from either the clothes people are wearing (suits to your joggers), their hair (bouncy to your flat), their skin (spotless to your acne), their body (slim to your fat or skinny). The list goes on. 

If you can relate, then I need you to consider the following three points:

  • That person has been in your position. Yes, it’s true. He’s been there and improved himself. How else are we to get rid of our imperfections if we’ve never had them?
  • Secondly, sure he might be wearing an expensive looking suit. But that does that mean it’s his? Or that he bought it? Or that he has a high paying job? NOPE. Could’ve been rented, could’ve been a present, hell, could’ve been bought a second hand store. Now he’s no different than you. 
  • Lastly, you both go to the gym. He’s slim, you’re fat, but is he working harder than you? He very possibly has been lifting the same weights for weeks now, with no intention to improve. Yet you lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks. Ask the friend you’re messaging right now, who they’d rather have as a gym partner. We both know the answer. 

My point? There are millions of possibilities, millions of scenarios, that you and I, can’t think of when assuming someone else’s life. Some include:

  • Yeah you see him work hard in the gym, but is his nutrition on point? No? Okay, then he’s not gaining. 
  • Yeah his face is spotless. But what about his arms, his back? Probably more insecure than you are, to be honest. 
  • Yeah he’s wearing a suit, but is it his? Or a friends? Or did he get lucky at a second hand store? And spend all his savings?

Persevering is right around the corner from giving up. You can walk that corner by doing what I started doing one year ago, comparing yourself to one person and one person only: who you were a couple weeks ago. 

You can never assume someone is “better” than you just because of what you see. Chances are, they’re making the same mistake you are and letting the image of someone else govern their life.

Like I said, I’ve been there and escaped that point in my life. I don’t know you but I know you can too.

 

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16 thoughts on “This one’s for you

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  1. I started writing my blog because I felt the same thing. I couldn’t cope up with the comparisons that I was making with all people coming to the gym with fit bodies. At one point I felt it was embarrassing to go to Gym because everyone who was there was so so fit. But I understood I am who I am, nobody knows the limits of my body better than me. And I workout for myself not for anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! Also, just think about the fact that since you’re thinking the way you are, imagine what they’re also thinking. I promise you that if you try your best, no one will judge, it’s an admirable trait and it is very noticeable 🙂

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  2. Reblogged this on Bipolar Scorpio and commented:
    I have to share this post from mzukowskiblog.wordpress.com. In those times when it really feels like we just don’t measure up. When we compare ourselves to people who seem to have things figured out, or at least appear to not be hanging on in life by a string. This is a great reminder that we really don’t know what anybody else is dealing with in their private life. We see every dirty detail of our own lives, but people don’t openly share the struggles the pain like they share their successes. Comparing our front row seat to every dirty detail of our own lives with the polished hand picked for the public details of someone elses, our own lives will of course appear to be lacking. It isn’t a fair comparison. In any case, I just wanted to pass this on because it made me feel a little better about things.

    Liked by 1 person

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