The reason you’re unhappy ft. the Solution

—————————————-REASON—————————————-

One word: comparison

You and I wake up every morning and put on outfits that we’ve worn before. We’re too scared to try on something new and look funny compared to others.

Then, we go to a classroom or work environment, where the goal is literally: don’t draw attention to yourself; come in unnoticed, leave the same way. It’s what everyone else does.

Then, we go home and open up FaceBook and allow the success of complete strangers to put us in a self-deprecating mood. We think to ourselves: “success just isn’t for me”.

Then, in an effort to make ourselves feel better, we turn on the TV or Netflix for some entertainment but ultimately the celebrities and talk show hosts are another reminder of how much better everyone else is.

You and I, we’re living a life centered around comparison.

And the worst part? We’re addicted to it.

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—————————————-SOLUTION—————————————-

To stop comparing yourself to others, to stop thinking everyone is better than you, you must realize that there were some moments in your “sad” life (your words not mine), when people looked up to you:

  • Like that one time when you hit the best spike your volleyball teammates had ever seen. Afterwards, they went home thinking, “One day, I’ll spike the ball like that.”
  • Or that other time when you had to act as one of the characters in a story in front of the whole class and some of your classmates thought, “Wow, he can really act!”
  • Or that other time when you held the door open for a girl whose week had been terrible because of her parents arguing, yet she thought to herself, “What a nice guy. He just made my day”.

I can keep going, but I want you to notice one thing. Neither of the people who you impressed or made happy, told you so. Why? Because they’ll embarrass themselves. Complimenting someone or speaking out they’re feelings/thoughts isn’t something their friends or family would do. So why should they?

And so you go home, without the compliment and today turns into yesterday and this week into last. Compliments could be flooding people’s minds all around you on how you look or how you smile but you wouldn’t ever know.

Complimenting isn’t popular enough.

 

Potentially changing someone’s life, isn’t popular enough.

 

So, here’s my solution. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “You want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself”. This couldn’t be more applicable here:

The next time someone’s spike impresses you, tell them. The next time someone’s acting impresses you, tell them. The next time someone’s act of kindness makes your day, tell them.

 

Stop the comparisons. Start complimenting. Be happier.

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47 thoughts on “The reason you’re unhappy ft. the Solution

Add yours

  1. I agree! Do not compare because if we do, we lose the sense of being us. People are unique, they have their own beliefs and happiness. Perhaps stop comparing could indeed be one way to avoid insecurity and bitterness, a way to be happy. This is a beautiful thought to ponder. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Have to agree this post makes a lot of sense, though in some respects it’s not really my issue. Its not so much I compare myself to others, but more the fact I’m always fighting my own inner demons. I don’t sit there thinking someone is better at stuff than me, or think god they have it easy. It’s all about me and how I feel wrong because I feel like I’m failing myself all the time. Its hard to explain in a way that makes sense, but while there are times I do think as you state in the post, its normally more beating myself up because I’m not where I want to be. Not the fact I’m thinking where should I be in comparison to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post! Carol Dweck in her book Mindset explain why it’s good to compare ourselves to some people who are better off than we are. It can be beneficial for us, make us grow, depending on how we look at it. If you have open mind then you try to avoud negative emotions such as sadness and jealousy. If you look at others as at some inspiration and motivation then thats great and it can help you.

    Liked by 1 person

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