Firstly, an apology to my readers.
It has been a while. Two months maybe? I don’t know if it was writer’s block or laziness…or both…but I am back and eager to share again.
Secondly, before I share that sentence, I have to admit that I, like most, look for excuses when I can. If I mean to go to the gym, then I’ll find an excuse like:
You were there three days straight, take a rest day today
Or if dieting gets really hard and feels like forever, I’ll tell myself:
Taking one day off dieting is okay, you can start again tomorrow
You know, the usual culprits. But the one I’m referring to with my heading is:
Mostly everyone, including my dad, thinks my dream’s a joke…what’s the point?
My dream of becoming a nutrition athlete, a YouTuber, having the best physique, has all been the subject of much arguing and fighting and hardship in my life.
It’s hard fighting your family, I won’t lie. But at the same time it makes things easy…
I mean, if nothing works out for me. If my dreams stay dreams or my plans remain written on paper or if I do give up, then I can always blame them for it…right? I mean it is their fault this is harder, not mine…
And that moment did come, when I gave up in front of them. I actually said:
You know what, you’re right dad. It’s a stupid idea
I was also there, in that moment, where it felt good to lift the weight off my shoulders and put it on theirs, make my dad feel guilty…but then he fired back:
You know better Mateusz, if you really want it, you’ll get it
And that changed everything.
Because since then, excuses haven’t felt good anymore. Now if I skip the gym or binge junk food for a week, then I know that I don’t want it as bad as I think. Because there’s another athlete out there who did hit the gym and is still on his diet.
The sentence embarrassed me actually, as if I were naked in front of an audience (ironically my goal includes not being embarrassed in that situation) but seriously…
What if I am a phony? What if I just tell others I want it bad? What if I write these blog posts and paint this picture of doing something with my life but in reality…it’s not real…and I actually don’t want it as bad as I think….
Because if I did really want it…I’d have it already…right?
And on a lighter note, because I know that ending was a bit on the gloomy side. If that sentence made you think at all or you like my writing or if you just want to tell me about your dog, Bella, make sure to comment below!
Also, if you’re having a good day (but just if you’re having a good day), share some of that joy and hit that like and follow button 🙂