1. Motivation

I think the key is: motivation. That’s where it all begins. A good motivator, just one, will make you unstoppable in my opinion. Problem is finding one. Some people (including me) think that motivation is just stumbled upon. An example would be, an employer comes up to you and says, “work this long for this many years and I’ll give you everything you desire”. Wouldn’t that be the best Christmas present. I guess I’ve watched too many movies, but that can be possible, just very rare. That would require someone like myself (if I were successful in the coming years) who thinks back to the times that he really wanted someone like that to come up to him and say those words. Then he himself would say those same words to that someone who he knows wants it bad but is having a tough time. I’m not crossing that scenario off my life, but there are other ways.

The other way I believe in is finding your own motivation, currently the dilemma in my story. Writing these blogs is a form of one and there are others, I’ll share them all eventually. One I want to write about is what happened during my summer. I worked as should every college student over the summer; either work or intern. Where I worked however wasn’t a vacation destination and by that I mean a cashier or waiter. I was a janitor for about two months, and it wasn’t my first time, I’ve been there the previous summer. I’ve cleaned bathrooms, thrown out garbage (the heavy black bags), mopped floors, cleaned kitchens etc. Any chore you’ve ever done, I’ve done this summer but that’s not the point. I worked there again by my own choosing because I thought being there would motivate me to do better in school, to do my best because I definitely don’t want to work there for the rest of my life. It seemed so good of a motivator at the time, I was constantly thinking about school, how I’d come back and do my best and I can’t wait to apply myself blah blah. Here I am writing, because that didn’t work. It felt so strong at the time, but I’ve seemed to have forgotten it all.

What do I do? Is there one strong motivator for everyone out there that we all have to work towards to find? I want to believe that, I do a little and I will keep searching, I guess I’m hoping that by writing and pouring my head out onto paper, eventually that motivator will pop out of my head. Or maybe there is no such thing as motivators, no such thing as finding your drive. Maybe it just boils down to, how bad do you want it? If that’s the case then I don’t want it as bad as I think I do because I’m here writing…

 

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